What do you want?

During orientation yesterday I caught a few things I guess I did not hear before.  The first was about goal setting.  What do you want?

I am sure I have heard the information, but maybe I was too busy/lazy to really think about it or maybe I was not ready to put in some serious contemplation.  I would usually just throw down my old standard.  I want to be thinner or I want to be able to keep up with my kids.  Those work right?  I have always held to the idea that if I were thinner I would be happy.  If I could just lose 50 pounds I would be happy.  All my current problems would be solved because I would be that fitness model you see in the magazines.  She's happy right?

Well, I have lost and gained the same 50 pounds for the last twenty five years and I have not found that blissful golden feeling I have been expecting each time.  If my goal was to lose that 50 pounds, then well... goal accomplished right?  WRONG!!!  Why then do I find that each time I slowly slip back into old habits. (ok, so most times I jump back in head first.  Grabbing handfuls of sugar and fat as I go down.).  Why do I find myself sitting in my car snarfing down that package of cookies I bought at the store that I don't want anyone to know about?  It's funny.  Here I am thinking that I am sneaking in some "extra" goodies and no one will ever know.  However, the evidence quickly shows up in that jiggly bulge over my pants and the tight shirts.  The headaches that re-occur.  The crappy energy and depression.  "Yeah, no one notices that!"

This time the question really resonated with me.  "What do you want?"  It was not as simple as what you want.  The question went on.  "What are you willing to do?".  "How will you get there?"  "What will motivate you when it gets tough?" Excellent questions.

I realized that a goal is more than "what I want".  You have to see it, you have to feel it, and you have to be willing to change your actions to get there. 

I have been thinking about that question now for two days.  "What do I want"?  I want to be thinner.  Okay, so what are you willing to do?  In my head I am thinking.  "Move more, Eat less".  Then I thought, "for how long"?  How long do you want to be thinner?  Until Easter?  Memorial Day?  Until the day you are so stressed you reach for the all comforting blanket of fat and sugar?  So maybe the be thinner goal is too vague.  I could say I want to keep up with my kids, but my kids are now pre-teen and teen.  They barely move anymore and I can lap them walking from the fridge to the couch so that won't motivate me much.

"What do I want"?  I want to feel good in my skin.  I want to be able to move and work when I want to and when I need to.  I want to age gracefully so that I can still do the things I want well into my older years.  I want to be an example for my children.  I want to love myself regardless of my shape, size, or weight.  These are long term goals and I realize that I may always be working on them.  So for the short term.  I want to finish the 10 week fitness class knowing I have given everything I had.  I want to eat clean healthy food.  I want to be able to move more easily and decrease the joint pain I have with osteoarthritis.

"What will I do"? I will go to each and every workout class that I possibly can.  No lame excuses.  I will eat healthy whole food following the menu as closely as I can without including grains.  I will do an extra 3 hours of cardio during each of the ten weeks.  I will take one day off to rest.  I will NOT put myself down and I will NOT use the phrase "I CAN'T"  I will read this every day and recommit. I will focus on what I want.  I will celebrate each and every success. (No, not with a food treat).

"What will motivate you?"  I will focus on the now and how my body feels each day.  I will think about each improvement no matter how small.  I will remember how bad it feels to stop moving.  I will think about how much better I am able to move each and every day.

Wow.  This stuff is powerful.  I personally think that you have to re-commit everyday.  Write down your goal and then tell yourself each day what you are going to do that day to take one more step in the journey.